This is beautiful…

I fought for gay marriage when Hawaii was the first state in the union to attempt it. The heartbreak of seeing my fellow citizens overwhelmingly oppose it, to the point of creating a constitutional amendment to prevent it, left me really bitter and determined to stay out of the fight from then on. But it’s important, and videos like this remind me why:

Stefano and Federico in Italy

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26 Responses to This is beautiful…

  1. bahamagirl says:

    That was beautiful Alyx πŸ™‚ thanks for sharing

  2. Ash says:

    Awww… they were so beautiful together. I wish I had love like that. πŸ™‚

  3. tigger0011 says:

    That made me cry Alyx! thanks for sharing with us…

  4. Mil says:

    Very beautiful, but I teared up more from your Hawaii story, Alyx 😦

    • Alyx says:

      Aww, that’s so sweet of you, Mil. *hug* It’s actually a sad story with a sort of happy ending. My then-partner and I submitted testimony to the legislature (she was actually on the 6:00 news *g*), made phone calls, and wrote letters. And the people opposing us weren’t always the hateful religious types, though of course there were plenty of those. What really got to me was that people (who could easily have been relatives of mine) were the ones saying sadly, “You know, I really have nothing against gay people. But marriage is different. I’m sorry.” And people who were coworkers, in my own dept and whom I saw on a daily basis (and whom treated me just fine and actually respected and liked me), were making a point to go out and hold signs urging lawmakers to deny me my civil rights. They didn’t mean to be discriminatory, but they truly believed gay people did not deserve the same benefits as straight people.

      I was hurt and deeply bitter. I knew, after seeing the opposition first-hand, that nothing would change their minds. So I was resigned to perhaps never seeing true equality in my life-time. But then I talked to Fizzy, and I had a revelation. I told her everything I’d experienced, and I mentioned how pessimistic I was. And then she pointed out that it didn’t matter if those people ever changed their minds, because they were pretty much dying off! *LOL* And then I realized that it’s true — that young people today simply don’t have the same prejudices, and most of them don’t think it’s a big deal. (Of course there are exceptions, but in general they are much more liberal about that particular issue.)

      So yeah, I’m a bit more optimistic now. I’m still never going to have my heart set on it, but I am willing to wait and see and hope. And be grateful for all the people who fought (and fight) for our rights, and who are totally open about their alternative sexuality (and I’m one of them), because it’s part of what changes minds. The more of us that are seen, the less “different” we seem to those who think they don’t know any gay people. πŸ™‚

      • Ash says:

        Alyx… it was until 1972 that it became legal for men in Norway to even have sex with each other. In the same paragraph sex with animals were mentioned. Yeah gay sex… was in the same paragraph as having sex with animals! And look where we are now! Gay people can get married, and adopt etc. There is still some debate about marrying in church. You can have the ceremony, if the priest doing it wants to do it, but I think you need to get it done twice to make sure it’s legal. Point is… we have come a really long way. There are even gay priests now.
        The reason we have come a long way, is because those who wanted equal rights, never stopped fighting for it. If all the gays are stuck in their closet, just expecting the straights to come to their senses… nothing is going to happen. What if all the feminist were hiding in their kitchen making dinner for their husband?! πŸ˜€ It gets better. I no absolutely no one my age, who are against gay marriage.

      • Mil says:

        Oh, that is a sad story 😦 And I know how you feel.. sort of, but not to that degree. When I first “came out” to my family, it was such a non-event (because they’re all proudly open minded individuals), and that annoyed me at the time, because I’d been stewing over it for years and I really wanted some kind of reaction… fireworks or something πŸ˜‰ Anyway, when the issue of gay marriage first appeared in politics, some of my family stood against it. It confused me more that anything, as it then became clear that said family members did have issues with my sexuality after all.

        However, I agree with Fizzy and Ash. Here in Australia, and although the major political parties have yet to catch up, public opinion has shifted a great deal in the last couple of years. Even my previously against it family members would now say “oh, for goodness sake, just give it to ’em”… which I suppose is good enough, sort of πŸ™‚

        My flatmate has petitioned to ban straight marriage! πŸ˜€

        • Yes, I agree, public opinion has shifted a lot… for example: my very elderly mother was telling me about my sister’s plan to possibly marry her girlfriend. My mother was a bit frosty about it, but when I asked her how her older sister (who tends to be the Frostiest One of All in the family) felt about it, Mum replied rather testily, ‘Oh Aunty is planning on buying a new hat.’ *g* Between my mum’s discreet discomfort and my aunt’s glee is so much easing up of taboos which once upon a time ruined lives.

          • Ash says:

            Your sister is a lesbian too? I’ve never heard of anyone having more than one gay child. πŸ˜€

          • Alyx says:

            Yay for Aunty! *applause*

            I’ve heard of “gayness” running in lots of families, Ash. Not in mine, unfortunately. 😦

            • Ash says:

              Well I have an aunt that had a boyfriend once when I was like 5… and then she has been living alone since then. She is not bad looking, and she is smart, and she and her “friend” go on vacation together all the time. I mean… they might just be friends, but it would be awesome if my aunt was gay. 😦 I would really like that.

              • Alyx says:

                I know what you mean, Ash. I would’ve loved having some family be gay too. But that’s okay….at least any of the ones coming after me can see there was one dyke in the family! πŸ˜€

        • Alyx says:

          I know — Wanda Sykes had a great bit about how gay marriage doesn’t ruin heterosexual marriage. What ruins it is divorce!

      • Fizzy says:

        And WHEN (not if) there is full marriage equality in the U.S., you will have been a part of getting us there, so I think you should be very proud of yourself. πŸ™‚ Not just by protesting but also by being out, and being your incredibly cool self, you probably changed more minds than you know.

        And you didn’t even have to sleep in bug-infested jail cells like the suffragists and the birth control activists! We’ve come so far. πŸ˜†

  5. Ella says:

    That was so beautiful. It’s sad that people don’t understand love.

    • Alyx says:

      It’s funny, isn’t it? It’s just love, and yet it’s so threatening to people. I’ll never understand it.

      • Ash says:

        They must be a gang of dementors, that feed of unhappy gay people. *waving wand* expecto patronum!
        Sorry… I was listening to my Harry Potter audiobook at work today. *blush*

  6. sparrow says:

    I could say a lot on this topic, but I think this link says it all much better.
    http://www.buzzfeed.com/mjs538/steps-to-help-you-evolve-your-views-on-gay-marriag

    • Alyx says:

      *LOL* I just discovered that site a few days ago and saw that page, Sparrow. I agree totally — narrowminded people just need to get over themselves! (God, that site is addicting, isn’t it?)

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