But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for….

This is not an original idea, but I just had to share the recent search engine entries for my blog. I’m telling you, some of them really crack me up! These are the words and phrases that people have entered into a search engine, Google or Yahoo or what have you, and the search engine led them to my blog.

Most of them contain logical things like “lesbian,” “domestic discipline,” or “F/F spanking.” The great majority of them contain my name (which tickles me no end — people actually know me by name! *vbg*), although it’s clear some of them were expecting a different Alyx. *g* And of course there are all the possible variations:


In some cases it’s clear why they found me, but in other cases I have no idea why I ended up as a result on their search!

For example:

i’m your friend. i’m going to spank you. f/f
True, I’m just thoughtful like that.

lesbian domestick dicipline
A clear Freudian slip, but oddly appropriate.

as justice had to be done the woman had to bare her buttocks for receiving her judicial caning on them
I’m thinking they had a specific story in mind, and it was already half-written in their head.

m/f come here i am going to spank you soundly
Uh, not likely!

episode season “her sprain”
Bet that show doesn’t get renewed next season.

you’re gonna get a lickin as punishment
I don’t know, kinda sounds like it could be a reward too. πŸ˜‰

spank me gently, please
Yes, I know exactly where this one came from. And it still cracks me up. πŸ˜€

spank her in the ass and push her to the audience
I’m pretty sure I never wrote a story like this….

the disicipline of the slips and puts to bed seasons
Or this.

christian domestic discipline slang
Boy, did they come to the wrong place! *LOL*

what dessert in julie julia did julie make for her friends
Whoops, poor foodie found kink instead!

alyx huge ass
I beg your pardon, that’s a bit personal, don’t you think?!

half life 2 alyx wet herself
Untrue, untrue, I categorically deny it!

Ha, they were obviously looking for Fizzy’s blog. *g*

lizzies alyx
Ahem. You mean “Alyx’s Lizzie,” don’t you?

can a young woman be made to cry by spanking her
Why yes, yes she can.

alyx wickedchild
Hm, sounds like a fairy tale.

a sore bottom for miss smith
I’d like to read that one myself.

only met her once… but i fucked her twice…. elbow macaroni bitch!
I don’t know which is more intriguing: the fact that my site came up, or the real story behind that search!

But this is my favorite, and I have absolutely no idea why my blog qualified for this one:

when inanna lay against the fig tree her cunt was glorious to observe

One day I’m going to sponsor a writing contest, and that’s gonna be the opening line. πŸ˜€

This entry was posted in Laughing WITH You Not AT You. Bookmark the permalink.

61 Responses to But I still haven’t found what I’m looking for….

  1. BickaBecka says:

    I literally laughed out loud at some of those! It’s strange what people search for!

    “I beg your pardon, that’s a bit personal, don’t you think?!” *giggles*

  2. Loki Renard says:

    Okay, this made me laugh a lot. I love the precise, yet utterly bizarre searches that show up here.

    I went ahead and checked the referring searches for Sappho’s Brats and discovered that not only am I getting traffic for the term “rage induced heart attack” – SB also ranks #6 on Google for the term. I think that means I’m a doctor now, or something.

    • cutey1991 says:

      Ms. Doctor of spanking!!!!1 πŸ˜‰

      • Loki Renard says:

        *looks over glasses, taps on computer whilst nodding absentmindedly* incomplete tasks mhm, mhm, cheeky comments, mhm uhuh huh, frequent teasing, mhm.. well, looks like you got yourself a doozy of a case of chronic misbehavior. Take two paddlings and call me in the morning. πŸ˜€

    • Alyx says:

      *LOL* “Rage induced heart attack,” huh? Well, your brats ARE rather maddening! πŸ˜†

      I agree with Cutey, though. I think “Doctor of Spanking” is a good title for you. πŸ™‚

  3. micah says:

    Alyx…do you have another story page on your blog that we don’t know about??? Some of those entries seem pretty specific…. *bg*

  4. bystander says:

    just recovering from laughing so much, put a big smile on an otherwise moody day πŸ™‚

  5. sandy says:

    Haha, very funny Alyx!!

    Alyx huge ass?? I agree, that is a bit personal….is it true though?

    I googled my own name just after reading this, and some of the results were pretty scary! How the hell do they get so much information about people?

  6. BickaBecka says:

    /me has just had a thought…

    You know… because of this page, your blog will now have a much more prominent position in each of those searches…

    • Alyx says:

      Yeah, that is true. I have to giggle imagining the conversations: “There I was, just trying to find a Julia Child recipe, and I stumbled onto some p3rvert’s blog!” πŸ˜†

      (I just realized using the word “p3rv3rt” probably means I’d come up under THAT search so I had to go edit this comment! Damn, it’s an endless cycle!)

  7. Fizzy says:

    ROTFL “elbow macaroni bitch”??! these are awesome. I love that “spank me gently” was someone’s search keyword!! see, you need to be more forgiving of my witticisms, they are increasing traffic to your blog. πŸ˜€

    • Alyx says:

      Yes, I guess you’re not the only eternally optimistic brat. πŸ˜‰ And I treasure your witticisms….they give me inspiration in a variety of ways. πŸ˜€

  8. homeatlast says:

    See, that is how I ended up here. I really wanted to know how to make a treacle tart and I ended up learning sooooo much more πŸ˜›

    • Alyx says:

      Ah, so YOU’RE the one who searched for “treacle tart – kinky uses,” eh? Or maybe it was the “what to do with a wooden spoon after baking” search? πŸ˜‰

  9. Tigger says:

    Wait a minute…you mean this isn’t where I’m going to learn Christian domestic discipline slang? I am certainly learning something…

  10. Alyx says:

    Welcome, Tigger! Christian domestic discipline slang? Well, that depends. Does “Oh God, I’m sorry, please stop!” count? πŸ˜€

  11. micah says:

    Alyx…you have 20 awesome titles. Have you thought about having a contest in which people write a 200 hundred word story with the winner using the most titles within the storyline? I would love to see the creative ways people would use that last one…

    • Alyx says:

      I see you have already exercised your creativity, young lady! *raised brow* Just remember, Micah, I will be taking down names, and assigning the “prizes” personally at the END. *eg*

      • micah says:

        Alyx hon …I don’t think you realize this is FICTIONAL Alyx we’re dealing with at SD…FIzzy even put it in capital letters…*trying so hard not to giggle*
        I’m sure NO ONE is thinking of your little ass while they’re whaling away!!! *can’t control giggles any longer*
        *Full blown bell laughs erupt as I decide to post under numerous aliases*…
        Oh yeah…Revenge is sweet…
        By the way – I’m gonna have a talk with Hal and see if she can help us with a similar adventure starring FICTIONAL Sir… *tears falling from so much laughter*

        • homeatlast says:

          Micah are you insane! Taunting Alyx is a baaaaad idea but getting me to taunt Sir -even fictionally? *winces and covers backside* You have NO idea how hard my lovely Sir can spank πŸ™‚ I am a brat but I am also a coward heheh

  12. micah says:

    Welll, actually, Hal…after my two run-ins with Sir within a 24 hour period, I have a small inkling of her Topping abilities…that’s why I was hoping YOU could help out…it keeps my backside safe..
    You were so impressive at keeping Sir’s mind off of spanking us in Vegas, I thought you might have a shot at it….
    BTW – did you keep the sequined gown from the burlesque show???
    I was just wondering…I uh, kept the Elvis outfit…I found out after the show that it’s a chick magnet…(blushing slightly) seems to be particularly effective when you do the Elvis the Pelvis move..cool huh

    • homeatlast says:

      Sequined gown..hmmm…*looks in wardrobe* now which one was that? I have so many πŸ˜‰ I am sure your Elvis the Pelvis move is something to behold Micah. I will remember your attempts to get me to ‘help’ you with SIr…I am sure I can repay you somehow in the future…lol.

      • micah says:

        Hal…I wouldn’t dream of repayment…
        Well, if you can’t get Sir to agree to a story with her in the Starring Role… maybe she would like to write a blurb on Alyx Wildchild and the Fig Tree???…Now that’s an interesting visual image Sir vs Alyx instead of their usual tag team efforts!!!
        Again – I could ask her …. but you might be able to persuade her whereas I’m rather concerned about Mr Whippy….(putting my hands behind me protectively)…

  13. cutey1991 says:

    I like the fictional Alyx stories. For you newcomers there was a long series between Loki and fictional Alyx. I agree that we should spread it out to the other tops. That said Sir is well Sir, I’m not sure how she would react and for some reason she’s been gentle with me. You go ahead Micah if your backside doesn’t end up exploding, I might join it. might. lol

    • Alyx says:

      Are you referring to the Bucket series, Cutey? If so, that was a lot of fun to collaborate on, and I think it brought out some of our best writing. πŸ™‚ (Though I shouldn’t speak for Loki….it definitely brought out some of mine.)

    • homeatlast says:

      Sir would like to know what ‘Sir is well Sir’ means! She says to let you know that she reads this blog too πŸ™‚

      I think a story from Sir would be cool – I will try and persuade her. In the meantime, didn’t Alyx mention somethiing about working on another story ? Come on Alyx – *stomps foot* more please!

      • Alyx says:

        Alyx is indeed working on another story. And I’d watch the foot-stomping if I were you, young lady. Remember, I can still password protect it and issue keys to good girls (and boys) only. πŸ˜€

  14. micah says:

    No way am I going after SIr…I shudder to think about it…That was why I was trying to shanghai….I mean see if HAL would like to try…She’s the only one that has a prayer of talking Sir into anything…
    BTW Cutey…After reading your posting in Brat Camp, I am amazed at your bold move to come to the lion’s den…
    *sitting down prepared to watch the show when Alyx reads Brat Camp and finds out Cutey is here*

    • Alyx says:

      That was quite a post, all right. *growl* However Cutey knows I respect her top too much to take her in hand as she definitely deserves! Anyone who brings out ropes and gags and canes is certainly asking to have them applied to her own misbehaving backside! 😈

  15. cutey1991 says:


    I was just adding to the story. I introduced canes, switches, ropes and gags quite tastefully.

  16. katherine93 says:

    Hey micah. Sorry I couldn’t join the Vegas trip. It sounded fun though.

  17. micah says:

    Hello, Ms Katherine….so nice to see you again…Ahhh, the Vegas trip, such memories to behold…did you by any chance read our adventures?
    Alyx was a little…entertaining…at the end.
    I think she has a secret longing to be an actress….

    We’re currently enjoying a unique Brat Camp thread…Alyx plays a BIG part of it as well as the swell phrases she listed above…you might want to check it out….

  18. micah says:

    Oh man, Becka!!! Thank you for reminding me BEFORE Alyx sees the post… You are 100% totally right….
    Katherine, we are playing with FICTIONAL Alyx currently… so there is no reason whatsoever, for RL Alyx to get upset in the slightest…

    • Alyx says:

      Hmm….it doesn’t seem to occur to you that Fictional Alyx can spank a Fictional Brat as well as RL Alyx can spank a RL one, Micah! πŸ˜†

  19. micah says:

    *slyly*…as long as the brat’s are writing the fiction,I don’t think Fictional Alyx will be spanking many brats…
    *nervous*…I did NOT just say that out loud did I???
    *heading for the door*

    • Alyx says:

      *g* Methinks the brats are deserting you, Micah. Perhaps they realize Fictional Alyx could be a dangerous as the RL version. *eg*

      *catching you on your way out* *SWAT!* (Just because. πŸ˜€ )

  20. katherine93 says:

    The adventure looked really fun. I will definitely check out the Brat Camp thread.

  21. micah says:

    Please do, Katherine… and feel free to join the foray…
    Really, trying to keep up with some of the posts the ladies come up with is amazing. It feels like you’re in a ‘storytelling chess match’ to see if you can keep up with the last posting and then put something in to assist the next person…
    Of course, your opponents are the Tops which always win, but the true challenge there is to make it as perplexing as possible for them to keep up with all the mayhem… LOL
    Bowing in homage…I have to say, Alyx and Sir have risen to the challenge every time…so far… evil grin

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