Siri

By Tigger

Disclaimer:

This story is not based on actual events.  I do NOT use Siri to do anything except place one phone call in the morning.  However, you may find hidden in the story the research Micah asked me to do about the safety of these “personal assistants”…research I (ahem) never quite sent to her!  I found it hilarious this morning that she missed it in my story.  Unfortunately, she does not share my sense of humor in this situation, and sense we will be spending time together over the holidays, I have a feeling she may make her displeasure known!

Marty was one very happy brat. She had had some memory troubles and had lost a couple of cell phones. Now that she was feeling better she had gone ahead and bought the newest model phone and had one of those automatic assistants. Her phone was the best toy she had had for years! At home the first evening she was explaining and showing off all of her new toy to her partner, Vickie. She was in the middle of showing how to call up help with the push of a button when she was interrupted with a gentle hand on her arm.

“Marty,” said Vickie gently, “this is great, but you still can’t use it in the car, you know.”

“No, Vickie! You don’t understand!” Marty was willing to be patient and explain the new technology. “It’s, like, hands free. You just push a button and tell the machine what to do and it does it for you. Like, I say ‘Call Mom,’ and it dials for me! See? No hands!”

“Uh huh,” she replied. “So, you press the button first?”

“Yes!” Marty couldn’t believe that Vickie couldn’t understand this!

“And, this is hands free how? Don’t you use your hand to push the button?”

“Just for a second! And then everything goes automatically! Really, it’s safe!”

Vickie pulled her brat onto her lap and snuggled with her for a few minutes. As she hugged her she thought about how long they had struggled over the phone in the car issues, and how hard Marty had struggled to do everything she asked. She loved how excited Marty was over her new toy and decided that there was no reason to say no to her right away.

“OK, lil’ one, here’s the deal,” Vickie said with a hug. “Go ahead and try it. Use it only for making the call you have to make in the morning on the way to work. That’s it. Nothing else. Agreed?”

Marty jumped off her lap in excitement. “Really? Really? You think it’s all right?”

Vickie laughed at her little one’s joy. She certainly hoped she wasn’t making a mistake but, really, Marty was careful and she did promise to make only one phone call a day. What could be the harm?

Several months passed and Vickie forgot all about Marty and her new phone. A friend at work mentioned a new AAA report about the role of “hands free assistants” in car accidents, but she didn’t worry. Those reports were looking at people who did crazy things like send and receive texts, or update their Facebook, or mess with their calendar using the thing while driving. Her brat wasn’t doing anything like that! She put it out of her mind.

And then the phone call came. It was from a friend of Marty’s. She had been in an accident. She was OK, but was in imaging and couldn’t use the phone. She was desperate for Vickie to come and so had begged her friend to make the call. Vickie could hardly breathe. What did it mean…accident? Imaging? Unable to call herself? Luckily, the person in the next cubicle perceived a problem and ran for a friend. She was able to grab the details and had them on the road in minutes.

Upon arrival they were brought in to a small exam room and Vickie almost fainted. Marty looked like she had had her face punched in. Her eye was black, her lip was split and swollen, and her left arm was splinted.

Marty tried to smile and said, “But, Vickie, you should see the other guy!” Vickie didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. She gently hugged her brat, found that the damage wasn’t too bad, a broken arm and superficial face wounds from the air bag, and did the paperwork for discharge.

She cared for Marty gently and lovingly for several days. Every time Marty tried to talk about the accident, Vickie shushed her and told her there would be time for that later. She was just glad that her little one would be fine! Glad, that is, until the police report and insurance report arrived….

By the time the paperwork came through Marty was up and around, assuming that she would never be held accountable for her part in the accident. She became careless about checking for the mail, and assumed that the insurance agent and police investigator would call her on her (new) cell phone before mailing anything. Unfortunately, the best laid plans of mice and brats….

Vickie came in with the mail and noticed the report from Samford County Police. “Ahh,” she thought, “finally, the jerk who hit Marty will be brought to justice!” As she began reading, she became more and more agitated. This did not sound right!  “Marty! Could you come here please?”

Marty came down to the kitchen and froze when she saw what was in Vickie’s hand. “Oh,” she started, “I think I have somewhere else to be?” Vickie led her over to the couch. “No, hon, I think this is where we need to be right now.”

She sat on the couch and held Marty close to her. “You know, I guess I never did give you the chance to describe the accident to me. I was just so glad to see you in kinda one piece I just didn’t say anything. I assumed it couldn’t have been your fault because you are always such a careful driver. Aren’t you?”

Marty gulped. How to begin? How to explain that although she had never planned to start using the phone for different things it had just kinda…evolved. How to tell her that she had moved on to Facebook postings and emailing when she found out how easy it was with her new assistant?

“I might need to be in a different position for this discussion,” Marty whispered. Vickie choked back a laugh. She knew her brat always had an easier time “confessing” when she was over her knee! She was happy to accommodate her, and so pulled her gently over, taking special care of the arm in the cast. Knowing that this was going nowhere good, she also took the opportunity to pull down her sweatpants while they were at it. “Talk,” she commanded.

Marty started with the morning of the accident. She had made her usual call. It was fine. What she hadn’t mentioned to anyone, though, was that she had added checking her email on to the list of things she did in traffic in the morning. It saved her at least 15 minutes at the start of her day, and really, she never took her eyes off the road or her hands off the wheel! And, with that admission, Vickie started spanking. “Keep talking,” she commanded, as she kept up a slow but steady rhythm of smacks in a circular pattern.

“Um..what else did you want to know?” she stuttered. The question was met with several hard slaps to her spank spots. Ah. Message received. Everything.

So, it all came out. The Facebook updates. The Wikipedia inquiries. The navigation requests. Finally, Vickie stood her up and said, “Go get the paddle. I want to hear about the accident. And I want you bare while we do it. Move.”

Marty tried apologizing. She tried whining. She tried leaning in for a kiss. Finally, Vickie told her she could obey or they could start over and THEN she could go get the paddle. Sighing, Marty went.

She came back and handed Vickie the paddle. Getting back into position she started. “It was raining. I wanted to know an easier way, so I opened an app.” She was caught off guard while the paddle started spanking, 5 on one side, then 5 on the other side.

“You used it in the rain? After all our talks?” Vickie couldn’t believe she would be so irresponsible. She was going to spank her until her butt caught on fire!

Marty kept going. “Yes,” she admitted, “but that didn’t cause the accident. The app worked fine and got me around the first traffic jam. So, I figured I’d just check my Twitter feed while I was going.”

“I didn’t even know you HAD a Twitter feed!” Vickie groaned with 4 extra hard swats.

“Yeah,” Marty admitted. “I set that up on another long drive.” She winced as the paddle smacked even harder. She didn’t know Vickie knew how to spank that hard! “So, anyway,” she continued, “I tried to check my feed, but then she said she wasn’t taking any requests, so I got frustrated. I tried to fix it by just glancing down onto the screen. Um…that’s when I smashed into the person in front of me. The officer said it was called ‘general distracted’ driving. Or, at least, that’s what I heard as they slid me into the ambulance.”

And, with that, Vickie started really spanking her. She couldn’t believe that her brat would be so irresponsible. She made sure to cover her whole bottom and spent a special time on her sit spots. She started spanking her thighs, turning her whole backside a solid red. “So, you decided it was OK to use your phone in a different way than we had agreed. You decided it without talking to me, even though you knew my concerns. You put yourself and everyone else on the road in danger. For a TWITTER FEED?!”

Down came the paddle! SWAT SWAT SWAT “Do you ever listen to anything I say?” SWAT “You could have been killed, or killed someone else!”

And Marty started crying.   She almost never cried during a spanking. But Vickie was spanking so hard, and she had been so stupid! She had known that what she was doing was wrong, but it was addicting!

The spanking suddenly stopped. Vickie’s hand came down gently and began rubbing her brat. “I don’t like doing this you know. I really prefer good girl spankings, where we can laugh and play. I really hate to see you crying. But, if you’re going to cry, I’m glad it was over a spanking and not because you seriously hurt someone on the road playing on your phone!” She pulled Marty up and smiled as she hid her face in Vickie’s shoulder.

“So, here’s the new deal. No screens for you. No Kindle, no phone, no computer except for work, for a month.” Marty put up her head and looked open mouthed at her Top. A month? That was an eternity!

“When the month is over you will get a new phone. I will come with you. It will be the dumbest phone we are able to purchase. Hopefully, there is still one out there that just makes phone calls, because that is ALL you will be doing with it! “

Marty considered arguing. The trouble was, Vickie had heard all of her arguments before. Everyone else did it. She couldn’t function without her phone. She wouldn’t do it again. She knew this time all she could do was submit. So, she did. As she looked at her Top she remembered all the times she had taken care of her, all the thought and kindness she put into helping her feel safe. A month was a long time, but she could do it. Snuggling up into Vickie’s lap, feeling sleepy as she always did after a spanking, she murmured, “I guess a dumb brat really doesn’t need a smartphone after all.” And with that, she closed her eyes and fell asleep, safe in her love’s arms.