Pouring herself another coffee Kate sat back in her chair, her arms resting on the table her hands cupping the mug. The preoccupied look on her face showed she was deep in thought.
‘What is going on with Sarah?’ she mused silently.
Not 15 minutes earlier the two women had been engaged in a lively conversation as Sarah declared her intention to “pop into town for a couple of bits”.
“You’re going into that new book store!”Kate quipped.
“Actually we need to stock up on some… “ a pause as she frantically thought what to say “..bits!” Her eyes were unable to pull off the angelic look Sarah struggled for, causing Kate’s eyebrow to rise although she couldn’t prevent a minute smile appearing.
Laughing, Sarah buried her head in her hands.
“Well whilst I’m in town I thought I might check it out!” came the mumbled response.
“Uh huh riiiight!” Kate was still grinning.
Sarah sat up pushing her chin out, striking a pose as she announced “as a Professor of English literature I feel it incumbent on me to see the quality of the goods on offer”
Kate barely held her laughter in, knowing full well Sarah had to visit that store because it had books in it. Her career had absolutely nothing to do with it whatsoever!
“Why of course honey, I should have realised, my apologies. No-one could ever fault your work ethic.”
Only Kate’s years of being a first class Top enabled her to hold that composed look and convey a sense of agreement, although the twinkling of her deep blues eyes were a bit of a giveaway!
Sarah stood, well aware what Kate was thinking but she held her righteous pose as she gathered up her cup and plate, depositing them in the dishwasher. Turning round she found herself enveloped in a warm pair of arms that held her close. Soaking in the loving embrace she couldn’t help herself.
“I know you know I want to go and indulge myself looking at the books.”
She felt the laughter rumble in her wife’s chest so burying her head deeper into Kate’s shoulder she mumbled “ Shushh, just shushh!”
Struggling to hold the laughter in Kate let her hand fall down to rest on Sarah’s bottom.
Sarah froze. Her eyes closed tight as she held her breath.
But Kate was already speaking .
“Go on my avid book dragon, indulge to your hearts content. “
Her hand rose and fell delivering a loving swat to her wife’s shapely cheek. Sarah’s arms tensed around Kate’s body, then her head lifted looking up at Kate.
“Your needs must be fulfilled…” as the words left her mouth Kate intuitively noted Sarah’s reactions. She gazed down into a pair of grey eyes that silently searched her own.
“Sweetheart what is it?”
Sarah held her gaze. It seemed like the world stopped for a few seconds.
“They must be fulfilled…”
Kate barely caught the whispered remark.
“Yes my love and I will do my best to always make sure they are. You have my word on that.“
Sarah’s eyes closed again as she breathed the quiet words in.
Kate studied that beautiful countenance waiting, expecting Sarah to speak again. Alerted by a small intake of breath Kate was ready to listen but suddenly found her arms empty as Sarah simply stepped away bursting into a ball of energy grabbing her bag, keys and mobile as she called over her shoulder “Uh…I’d best be off honey. Won’t be long” and with a quick wave was gone!
‘What was that all about? What had she missed?’
Her mind wandered over the last few days searching for …what exactly? Clues, answers? Right now anything that helped make sense. Two recent scenarios stood out, although at the time Kate hadn’t paid them much attention.
The first was when she came into the kitchen from work the other weekend, Sarah was in the throes of making a lasagna. Except the spoon, supposedly piling the mince on to the pasta sheets, wasn’t. It was simply making circles on top of the mince instead as Sarah, lost in her thoughts, was gazing into the distance caught up in some unknown, fascinating reverie.
“Hey honey” Kate’s soft voice gently broke the dream.
A startled Sarah turned towards the voice and finally recognised her wife. What surprised Kate though, was seeing Sarah suddenly blush furiously and almost gabble out a greeting as she looked down and concentrated on finishing the dish before putting it in the oven.
Kate waited until Sarah had closed the oven door before she took the woman into a welcoming hug.
“Are you all right Sarah, you were on another planet just then.”
Sarah held on to Kate speaking into her shoulder.
“Oh nothing, nothing at all..just plotting another storyline for my book. You know what I’m like.“
Kate’s expression was clear. She was not buying that at all but chose not to enquire further noting how Sarah was reluctant to let go. However the Top stored the small episode away, just in case…
The second occasion was a few days later over dinner. Of all things the conversation had come round to chatting about fantasies and desires. Over a glass or two of their favourite red wine, an in depth discussion ensued over the difference between the two. Sarah was waxing lyrical over the definitions of them when the room fell silent as she took a sip of wine. Seizing the moment Kate threw the gauntlet down.
“Ok my erudite lexicographer tell me your dream fantasy and coveted desire!”
Eyebrows raised in surprise, her head slightly tilted, Sarah took a rather larger mouthful of wine before a wicked grin lit up her face.
“Oh my god, my fantasy has to be you as Xena taking me, Gabrielle across Greece and meeting up with the Amazons….”
There followed a rather lurid description of just how Xena would have to conquer her Queen, having proved herself worthy of doing so. Kate could not lie, she was totally spellbound as the vision unfolded. As Sarah finally brought the action to a close Kate leapt to her feet to refill their glasses as well as take a couple of minutes to cool down a little!
Sarah laughed watching her wife’s actions.
Seated once more and casting the “Look” at her chuckling brat, Kate started to speak but Sarah interrupted.
“Where were we, oh yes so what’s your fantasy…”
“I believe you have yet to tell me your deepest desire!” came the swift rejoinder.
Like a deer caught in headlights Sarah’s eyes widened as her unblinking stare was locked onto Kate’s eyes and held there, trapped. Whilst it seemed that time stood still, it didn’t. Within a second or so a gentle flush crossed over her face, her mouth opening a little, as if to speak but no words came.
As Kate’s mind registered this unexpected reaction the Top stepped up.
Leaning forward Kate’s hand covered Sarah’s and gently held it.
“Sarah my love it’s ok, you don’t have to tell me anything. Right now I only need to know you are all right. Let’s go into the lounge and chill on the sofa.”
Waiting for Sarah’s response Kate watched her carefully. What was going on?
With a sudden shake of her head Sarah stood and gave a slight, almost nervous smile.
“Gosh sorry, probably had a bit too much wine. You’re right let’s move.” With that she was out the door and heading off.
Perplexed, Kate watched her go as she made a mental note to keep a watching brief for the time being. No matter what the situation she would always be there for her wife.
Whatever way Kate looked at the different scenarios, nothing seemed to stand out other than something was obviously playing on Sarah’s mind.
Normally they were able to talk, discuss anything, a fact Kate was eternally grateful for, since communication was one of the most important factors in any relationship and also one of the first stumbling blocks for couples.
The fact it was it happening on this occasion could be either Sarah was not ready to talk about it, she didn’t know how to discuss it or even that she didn’t know herself exactly what the issue was.
Kate was wise enough to know the best course of action was to continue with the watching brief no matter how concerning or frustrating that may be. The Top knew she would step in if things became too heavy for Sarah and there were signs of struggle.
‘Sarah, my love, I am right here for you, always’ the thought echoed into the silence.
Finishing her coffee, Kate cleared up the kitchen before going into their office to check her emails.
Work commitments and some social engagements with with friends soon took care of a couple of weeks. To start with Sarah had pretty much been her normal busy, convivial self. Kate was happy to see her wife much more relaxed and focused. Even the social dinners out and joining their friends at the pub a couple of times went well.
Nevertheless Kate discreetly observed Sarah over time just in case she needed help. To be honest to herself, Kate was sure whatever Sarah had issue with was not simply going to go away. She was determined to be there as and when anything should occur.
Tonight they were meeting up with their friends Rem, Jill, Chris and Becks at a new Bar’n’ Grill pub recently opened nearby. Both Kate and Sarah were looking forward to the evening. Ever since Sarah’s chance encounter with this group at a service station during a thunderstorm they had stayed in contact and now met up whenever possible. Kate was able to renew her past friendship with Rem which was a mutual delight whilst Sarah indulged in a shared passion of the Bard with Jill. As for Chris and Becks, they fitted in perfectly.
The fact that all three couples followed the same lifestyle added an extra layer of compatibility all round.
The evening was going well. General conversation flowed as the ladies ordered drinks and food. Sarah, Jill and Becks commandeered a table where they had an element of privacy and could hear each other talk leaving their partners to bring the drinks over.
Once the food was eaten, it wasn’t long before the group morphed into Sarah, Jill and Becks sitting together engrossed in their topics of interest leaving Kate regaling Rem and Chris with some funny work anecdotes.
From time to time Kate glanced over at her wife ensuring all was a well. Pleased to see Sarah laughing along with the others she relaxed.
Becks was in the middle of telling her disastrous day at work having to listen to an overbearing colleague during a team zoom conference call…
“…honestly this woman simply would not stop talking. She interrupted everyone, talked over the top of people and generally disrupted the entire meeting. It was a nightmare. When she started ranting on again Hayley, who was the Chair, called her out and said ‘hold it there Lindsay stop talking please, you have had enough airtime. I want someone else to have a chance to voice their thoughts…’
I wasn’t concentrating on what Hayley was saying as Lindsay was still trying to speak. I missed Hayley saying ‘Becks what’s your view?’ and the fact she had muted Lindsay. I just gave a heavy sigh as I muttered why doesn’t she just shut the fuck up and let someone else have a turn….I also forgot my mic was on! “
With sharp intakes of breath Jill and Sarah started to laugh as Becks finished her sorry tale.
“Hayley cool as you like replied ‘Your mic’s live Becks, your objective is achieved and now we’d like your view on the issue at hand please’ along with the broadest grin I’ve ever seen her give. The rest of the team just collapsed into laughter as I wanted to curl up and vanish, no support at all, utter tossers!”
The pitiful look on Becks’ face merely added to the hilarity Sarah and Jill were enjoying. Not seeing any support from her friends either Becks gave up and joined in chuckling.
“ I cannot lie, it did feel good and afterwards I got quite a few comments and thanks for saying what everyone was only thinking!”
Another round of laughter followed.
A minute later Chris walked past the group on route to the bathroom. On her way back Chris paused behind Becks, leaned down and spoke quietly in her ear
“That’s strike 1 and 2 Becks!”
All three women struck the ‘deer in headlights’ look not aware that the Tops had heard Becks mournful tale!
Glancing over their shoulders Jill and Sarah saw the Tops were again deep in conversation causing them to give sighs of relief.
“Sorry ladies, I guess the latest additions to Shakespeare’s cussing compendium is off the agenda for tonight!”
“Uh, yes most definitely yes!” came two fervent responses.
Sarah stared at Jill.
“Don’t tell us you’re on a strike count too?”
Jill hung her head before lifting it up, a flush spreading across her face.
“Uhm…no I’m not. I was in bother last night and I really don’t want to incur any further consequences just yet thanks! “
Her rueful expression spoke volumes!
“Well Rem has this thing about me balancing my workload, not overloading myself with tasks and goals. To be fair she is right and generally I will try to get things right. But sometimes I let the targets and deadlines take over. To counteract this Rem checks with me three times, so I have the chance to stop and review my progress and balance it better. Last night I chose not to listen so ended up over her knee whilst her hand took over the “discussion” in an extremely thorough manner. The finer details of the issue were concluded with a meticulous session from her favourite sit spot paddle! So right now I need to be an angel!”
Fleeting looks of empathy and support showed in her friends faces which Jill appreciated. Just as she also knew they would be feeling glad it wasn’t them. She would be feeling the same if it were one of them.
Sarah stood up, collecting all their glasses for another round of drinks.
At the bar her subconscious absorbed the details of Becks’ and Jill’s issues, storing them away for later contemplation, whilst she continued enjoying the evening.
All in all it was an excellent night out. The women ended up having an entertaining time with lively conversation and laughter across the group.
At last it was time to go. After arranging the next event followed by hugs and kisses goodbye they all headed to their cars.
Kate stopped to check a text she had just received leaving Sarah to go to the car.
‘Oh nice, no early start!’ she thought as she read the postponement text for the planned senior officers meeting in the morning. Sending an acknowledgment Kate walked over to their car. Opening the drivers door she was surprised to find Sarah sitting there. Sarah looked up as she turned the ignition on.
“It’s ok honey I’ll drive back, you deal with your texts.” She leaned over to shut the door but found it held firm by Kate. Glancing up she could not miss the Look on her Top’s face.
“What do you think you are doing Sarah? You have been drinking tonight and I’m the driver. You know the rules. “ The tone said it all!
Sarah dropped her gaze frozen in her seat. Her response was a mere mumble.
“It’s ok, I didn’t have that much.”
A hand swiftly reached for the key switching the engine off.
“I suggest you change seats Sarah.”
The Top took a step back back giving her room to get out of the car. For a second it seemed as if she would refuse but with a small sigh Sarah climbed out and went round to the passenger side.
Watching her wife Kate was bewildered at her actions. Sarah never questioned the drink/drive rule. What on Earth was this all about?
Settling in her side Sarah looked across at Kate.
“Sorry about that. I suppose I wasn’t thinking. You know how it is. “ she gave a half laugh but to Kate’s experienced ears it was somewhat forced. She turned towards Sarah but the woman was already keeping her gaze firmly to the other side.
“Is everything ok Sarah?” As she started the car.
“Yes, it’s fine. Don’t worry. Let’s get home “
Shooting another quick look at her wife, Kate shook her head a little. ‘Everything is not fine’ my love she thought as she drove off home.
Sarah headed indoors as Kate put the car in the garage. Once she entered the house she was just in time to see Sarah making her way upstairs.
“I don’t know about you honey but I’m shattered. Heavy day at work tomorrow. I’m going to head to bed. Love you. “
With that she was gone.
Watching her wife disappear from view Kate stood perplexed with the sudden events of the evening. Obviously Sarah was not ready to talk about whatever was bothering her. She went to the kitchen reaching for a coffee. Kate needed to run the evening through her mind in case there was something she missed.
Her coffee drunk, the evening examined and re-examined shed no light.
‘Sarah, no matter what it is, I’m right here for you. Lean on me my love, I can help you ‘ with that thought she went up to bed.
A sunbeam throwing its shaft of light through the curtains heralded the morning. Awake, Kate slid out of bed careful not to disturb her sleeping wife. Grabbing some jeans and a sweatshirt Kate left the bedroom and after a quick shower was downstairs preparing breakfast, a standard Saturday ritual!
The last thing was to set the coffee on. Once that delicious aroma started circulating, she checked everything else was ready before sitting down. The moment that coffee smell reached Sarah, she would be down!
Sunlight was gradually taking over in the bedroom causing the sleeping woman to move and stretch a little. Her eyes though, remained shut. Despite her slumber Sarah’s subconscious was busy mulling over the events of the past couple of days. Once more she dwelt on the conversations from the pub, in particular Jill and Becks’ stories. Sarah let her thoughts wander over what the women had said. She couldn’t stop herself thinking about it. Unwittingly she took a deep breath and sighed, which somehow managed to wake her.
“Uhh…what if..oh wait, ahh I’m awake” she groaned before her nose informed her coffee was brewing!
“Ohhh yes! Thats the way to start the day!”
Sarah was up and on route to the kitchen, woman on a mission!
A steaming cup of coffee was waiting for her as she walked into the kitchen.
“Thank you honey just what I need” grabbing her cup as her breakfast was placed on the table.
Both women concentrated on eating before discussing how they were going to spend their weekend together.
Once everything was finished and cleared away Sarah disappeared to shower and dress. Kate relaxed over her coffee scanning a news app on her phone.
A short while later Sarah returned, laying her jacket over her chair before moving to the coffee pot.
As she was filling her cup a text arrived. Scanning it, a barely audible “yess” passed her lips. Naturally Kate heard it, a soft smile flickering before vanishing as Sarah spoke.
“Turner won’t be available for the Elizabethan Literary Convention next month but he ‘kindly’ offers his expertise with any issues I feel I may need further insight on!”
She was unable to mask the gleam of satisfaction in her eyes as she looked over at her wife.
“I don’t think you will be too upset at his absence by the sounds of it?” Kate enquired, fairly sure she knew Sarah’s thoughts.
Sarah glanced down, reading the text again, then paused, caught in thought. A strange sense as though Sarah was lost in another world for a moment, had Kate bemused a little, watching her.
Out of the blue Sarah spun round, her face a picture of total disdain, as she let forth a scathing response.
“That’s just typical, the arrogant prick thinks he can pick and choose what he attends. Then changes everything at the last minute. Yet still puts himself forward as the fount of all fucking knowledge whilst leaving me to do all the arrangements. He’s an absolute fucking tosser!”
Sucking a deep breath in Sarah glared at Kate almost daring her to disagree. However Kate, dumbstruck , sat motionless simply staring at her wife.
Neither woman spoke. It was as if time stood still. Even the silence that fell, held its breath…
Suddenly Sarah’s eyes widened, bringing her hands up to cover her face as a soft keening sound filled the room .
“No, no, no, no, noo…not like that, no, no that’s not me. No I’m sorry, I’m so sorry no, no..that’s not me no…”
Not looking anywhere especially not at her wife she fled the room.
The spell broken, Kate took a moment to catch her breath and work out what on Earth that was all about. It was quite clear from her first reaction that Sarah was somewhat happy Turner was not attending. So why the sudden hostile response? Running through the scene carefully Kate went over exactly what Sarah had said and done.
Whilst analysing events she switched into her Top role when she recognised certain signs. Realising this scenario was connected to the other concerns from recent weeks helped to prove her theory that Sarah needed to talk with her Top.
“Time to get this sorted!”
The Top went over to the fridge, pulling out a couple of bottles of water then went to find her wife.
Entering the lounge Kate saw her standing over by the patio door gazing out at the waterfall. The stiff posture, arms held tight around her told Kate all she needed to know.
Seconds later a hand on her shoulder turned her and Sarah found herself wrapped in a pair of strong arms that held her close.
“Hey my love, I’ve got you. It’s ok, everything is ok.”
That soft voice managed to penetrate through the confusion she felt. As always her Top’s presence worked it’s magic. Sarah melted into that welcoming embrace. Tucking her head into Kate’s shoulder Sarah held onto Kate’s top, gripping it tightly. Spotting how white her knuckles were, Kate gently rubbed her wife’s back keeping up with soft words of comfort. They weren’t going anywhere until Sarah was ready.
Finally Sarah lifted her head up and met a pair of deep blue eyes that gazed lovingly down at her.
Placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, Kate said “Let’s sit down sweetheart.”
Sarah found herself ensconced on the sofa, a bottle of water in her hand and Kate in her full-on Top persona.
Giving the woman a chance to settle Kate spoke again.
“Whatever this is about Sarah, I want you to know we have as long as it takes to talk things through. You know you can say anything to me. I will never judge you. I will listen to you and I will clarify anything I don’t understand. I do want you to know we will resolve whatever the issue is. So when you’re ready just start talking ok? “
Sarah couldn’t take her gaze away from her Top’s eyes. They seemed to almost look right through her into her innermost thoughts!
The Top held her look a few seconds longer before reaching for the water bottle. The spell broken, Sarah dropped her head concentrating on her hands as her fingers twisted around each other.
The power of silence is amazing. Kate knew this and used it to its full advantage. She sat and waited.
Sarah’s mind was on overdrive.
‘What do I say, how do I start? This is going to sound crazy. What will she think of me? Oh god, what am I doing?’
Glancing up she caught Kate’s eye and dropped her head once more. Something, however, made her look up slightly, to be met with a warm smile and a slight nod of the head. That flipped the switch!
This was Kate, her Top, she was talking with. The person she loved and trusted the most in this world. Taking a couple of slow breaths in to relax a bit Sarah lifted her head, stared across at her Top and began to speak.
“To be honest with you, I’m not too sure what to say or how to say it because it’s sort of crazy….I think” a slight pause as she searched the room almost looking for inspiration but nothing stood out. Taking a deep breath Sarah carried on.
“I… well I’ve, lately that is, I’ve had thoughts or ideas or, oh I don’t know what you’d call them, probably just weird I suppose… you see it’s like this, uh…what I’m trying to say is, well it’s these ideas that I uhm sort of want, no wish oh I don’t know how to say it..” Sarah’s hands had come into play now and were gesturing along with her words.
Kate knew this was her wife’s way of showing she was out of her comfort zone, although she had realised that the moment Sarah started rambling! She leaned forward and gently held one of the flailing hands.
The Look on full display was enough to catch her attention causing the woman to stop talking and take a breath. As she went to speak her Top simply shook her head.
“Not yet, give yourself a minute. “
Kate waited until she felt Sarah relax once more then she spoke.
“Keep it simple. Just start with what the thought or idea you had, was. Ok?”
She waited, watching her wife’s reaction, the flush appearing around her neck gradually covering her cheeks as her eyes widened. That was the moment the Top knew where this talk was heading. However the important part was for Sarah to say it.
“You can do this Sarah. Just keep it simple. “ the quiet encouragement bolstered her fragile confidence.
Sarah stared down at the strong hand holding hers so delicately. ‘Just like her’ she mused, ‘always there, always looking out for me, always ready to help in any way…in any way…at all.’
Turning slightly she gazed out at the waterfall lost in thought for a brief moment.
The Top waited.
‘Simple, just simple words, they’re just words’ ran through Sarah’s mind, ‘your life is
words. You can do this!’
Finally, her mind made up Sarah didn’t stop, turning round she looked straight into her Top’s eyes.
“Would you spank me if I asked you to?”
Kate couldn’t miss the fiery colour infusing her wife’s face but the look of uncertainty coupled with a fleeting hope in her beautiful eyes was what held her attention.
Without missing a beat The Top leaned forward taking hold of both hands.
“Yes Sarah I would but I would also ask you why you wanted it to make sure that was exactly what you wanted.”
Sarah was mesmerised. That was not quite what she expected. Not a straight out yes, more like ‘are you nuts, where has that crazy idea come from?’ Shaking her head a little she struggled to speak, at last managing to say something.
“You would, you really would?”
Her Top nodded.
“But don’t you think it’s crazy, I mean, why would I want you to do that?”
“No it’s not crazy. There are various reasons for someone to want a spanking. ?Sometimes it’s for attention, for example when a brat acts out. She wants attention and a spanking is the result. It has the benefit of a ‘quick fix’ which is fine at the time, provided that was the aim of the brat. “
Kate paused checking that Sarah was following her so far. Satisfied, she continued.
“There’s also the scenario where the brat wants a spanking because it is a need she has. This is completely different. What is important here are her feelings. What is it that drives her to want a spanking. Feelings of pressure, distance, commitments, loss of direction, lack of contact even, there are countless examples, all of which engender a need to reclaim her inner balance. It is something the brat recognises in herself and provided they have good communication , she knows her Top will help her. This is a more intimate act between the Top and her brat. It is not consequences, far from it. The Top’s job is to guide her brat carefully through the scene, taking control and bringing her out at the end. For the brat she is able to lose herself in the moment, she’s not beholden to anyone or anything, no-one is holding her to account. It’s her opportunity to find her inner peace once more. Above all she is in a safe space. She knows her Top will look after her in every aspect no matter what. It also shows the incredible trust she has in her Top to even take this step.”
“That’s centering herself, yes?”
“Not exactly Sarah. In this case the brat senses her feelings and becomes aware of her own inner imbalance and needs to correct it. With centring she is not really aware she is going off kilter because of external pressures. Her focus is on getting everything done, not the effect it is having on her. It is generally the Top who will spot that first. Can you see the difference? “
Taking a moment to consider it Sarah stayed silent. It was almost possible to see the details running through her thought processes. With a quick nod of the head she commented “I never realised this lifestyle was involved to this depth. It’s too easy to think a brat acts out, rules are broken and a spanking is given, the end!”
“Absolutely not Sarah, you know the Top is the brat’s mentor, guide, whatever you choose to call her. She is responsible for helping, supporting the brat, thinking of and making good choices. Hopefully the brat grows within this sphere and her wants and needs will often change. Provided the couple maintain good, honest communication in all aspects, any and every issue can be overcome.”
Kate reached for the water bottle, passing it to Sarah, giving her space to absorb everything she just heard.
Silence fell softly.
Once more Kate waited.
Sarah studied her hands held in her lap, deep in thought.
After a few minutes she lifted her head staring at Kate for a couple of breaths. The quiet question, when it came, was crystal clear.
“Would you please give me a spanking?”
Once again Kate took hold of her hand.
“Yes I will Sarah but first we will talk it through so I can understand your thoughts and feelings. Agreed?”
Despite the flushed face Sarah nodded and to Kate’s relief she saw an imperceptible shift across Sarah’s shoulders.
Keeping hold of her hand, Kate stood up motioning Sarah to follow her over to the patio door. Guiding her over to face the garden Kate stood behind her and folded her arms around her wife. Sarah relaxed against the firm body resting her hands on the strong arms that held her close.
“Let’s have a break for a bit my love. That was a lot for you to take in. Watch the waterfall with me and just enjoy the moment. “
Kate placed a gentle kiss on her head as she gazed out at the flowing water.
Sarah was only too grateful for Kate’s distraction. Her mind was in overdrive but a small part of her felt a sense of achievement. These thoughts and fears she had held inside for some while were on the point of being sorted and once again Kate, her wife, her Top was going to show her the way. She closed her eyes soaking in the comfort of Kate’s arms holding her close.
The room was silent. All that could be heard was the sound of the water flowing endlessly over the rocky waterfall splashing down to the pond below.
Sarah stirred in Kate’s arms.
“Shall we sit down and talk sweetheart?”
Taking a deep breath Sarah nodded. As one they moved back to the sofa making themselves comfortable.
“Let’s start with how this all came into your mind Sarah. What thoughts did you have? Did anything trigger them off or did it just happen? It won’t be easy to explain but starting somewhere helps. “
Again Sarah nodded then chewed on her bottom lip as she cast her mind back.
“I can remember thinking quite a while ago how insanely busy we had both been, you know, when you had those two back-to-back International Financial Conferences here and in the Netherlands whilst I had the Literature departmental restructuring followed up with the Dickens Exhibition in Birmingham. Honestly what a crazy time!” She shook her head recalling that hectic time.
Kate nodded in full agreement.
“Do you know that was over a period of about 5 to 6 weeks we were on the go constantly. Talk about ships that passed in the night. I was never so grateful for something to come to an end. It was great to wake up and not be thinking what was on the schedule that day. Anyway one day one of the students brought in a dvd of an old musical ‘Kiss Me Kate’ based on Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew. She wanted to include it as part of her paper showing how it supported modern day interpretation of the Elizabethan mind. After a general discussion I put it on and we used it throughout the lecture that day. It worked well…very well…” a pause ensued as Sarah lost herself in the events of that day.
Kate watched and waited.
“Oh where was I, sorry…Yes the film, I know afterwards I had this feeling of missing you. That is a bit nuts , I mean I was seeing you that night but, I don’t know, it just really played on my mind. I thought it might be like word or phrases association, you know, ‘kiss me Kate’ I can say that to you anytime can’t I? “
Kate nodded smiling. The Top had already made the link having seen the musical.
“But the strange thing is, ever since then I couldn’t stop getting this sense of missing you. I wanted …I kept seeing one scene in my mind and it always brought me back to you. Well when I say missing you it was…it was..” she trailed off awkwardly.
“Would you like my help?”
A small nod.
“It was the scene where Petruchio takes Kate over his knee for a spanking. “
Kate took hold of Sarah’s hand gently rubbing her thumb over the top.
“ You’re doing really well honey. Keep going. “
“You’re right. I couldn’t get that scene out of my mind or how it made me feel After a while it went away but not my feelings. This was the part that confused me. I mean I was having these thoughts about wanting you to put me over your knee but why? Who would want that? I’m not talking about a playful or sensual spanking, I mean a proper one. I even tried to get the conversation round to the subject but I couldn’t go through with it.”
“The fantasies and desires evening. Very enlightening though Sarah, I must say!” The grin lighting up her wife’s face made Sarah laugh, relaxing her a little more.
“Then at the meal Thursday listening to Becks and Jill brought it all to the fore again. I didn’t know what to do. How could I tell you I wanted this, when I didn’t understand myself why? I know my actions then and today with the driving and language were the wrong things to do. I realised that’s not me. I can’t just brat out like that. It’s not my way. I’m so sorry Kate” she looked down at her hands as she continued “I did those things deliberately and I knew it was the wrong thing to do. I do accept responsibility for my actions. I was at a loss and for once in my life I couldn’t find the words to speak up. “
Her fingers were locked in a white knuckle grip.
Two strong hands gently prised them apart, holding them with a warm, comforting touch.
“Sarah, my love, this explains everything pretty much. Importantly I understand the situation now. I can also give you a probable cause for you having these feelings. As you said, we had gone through an insane few weeks dealing with work commitments. This happens sometimes with our respective careers. However the down side to that is our personal lives have take a step back. Sometimes it takes longer to recognise that has happened. So it is up to us to work on having time for us, you and me and everything that entails. That includes the TTWD side too. What your mind recognised was a feeling of loss of connection between you, the brat and your Top. How do you get that connection back? You had a trigger, the film. It portrayed a scene you instinctively relate to. Once the link was made your mind had recognised what would regain your inner balance. Does this seem logical to you so far?”
“Yes, it’s exactly that Kate. “
“However your problem was how to communicate that to me. I can say all you had to do was ask, but I know it’s not that simple. Quite rightly you will think asking for a spanking would sound somewhat crazy. What this situation has done is given me the chance to say no matter what is on your mind, you can always talk it over with me. I will always listen and help if I can. I’m pleased to say in this case you are very far from crazy. What you are feeling is par for the course with our lifestyle. So always just tell me you want to say something. I promise I will listen. Are you happy with that and will you do that please? “
A pair of arms around her neck followed by a heartfelt hug was all the answer she needed.
When Sarah sat back and looked up she saw her Top sitting there!
“Let me be clear on one thing Sarah, this is not a consequences spanking. The issues you mentioned are not relevant now. You were trying to communicate and I accept them as you acting out but there was no intent. They are of no consequence, is that clear?” The Look was on full display.
“Yes, it’s clear and thank you. “
“Good. Now, Sarah I’m going to put you over my knee and give you a spanking. I want you to take this time to think over everything you’ve said and thought about. I also want you to know you can say stop at any time and I will stop. Do you understand?”
A hasty swallow “ yes, I understand. “
A nod and a hand held to her, Sarah took hold of it allowing the Top to guide her over her knee, her head and body leaning on the sofa as her toes balanced against the floor.
“Breathe Sarah, breathe and settle in. There’s no rush “
The Top was only too aware how rigid Sarah was. That was natural. She knew the woman would relax in time. Gentle stroking movements on her back reassured her to some degree.
“Remember what I said, think about your thoughts and feelings. This is perfectly natural Sarah. Just go with it. “
Sliding her sweatpants down to her knees Kate began to spank the panty-clad bottom with slow, light swats. They just about brought a slight tingling and nothing more. As Kate had said, this was not a consequences situation. Every so often she paused, stroking Sarah’s back.
“You’re doing fine sweetheart.”
Sarah felt like her mind was in a ball of confusion. She was here, it was happening but she couldn’t settle yet.
Kate could see a slight change of skin colour on Sarah’s bottom and noted that she was still not relaxing. Sliding the panties down to join her sweatpants she rested her hand on Sarah’s cheeks.
“Concentrate on your feelings Sarah. Remember that sense of missing your Top, where you wanted to be, why you wanted to be there. “
Lifting her hand Kate began a series of harder swats now. She kept the slow delivery since the strength of the swat would help direct Sarah’s mind to her thoughts. Kate also ensured she covered the entire area because the steady build up of heat would also have an effect. Continuing with the occasional pause and rubbing Sarah’s back Kate knew it wouldn’t be long before Sarah would succumb to the moment.
The heat was building up now. Sarah was very aware of it. She thought about the position she was in. It was right, it was familiar. She felt for the arm that Kate always laid across her back, holding her still and safe. Yes there it was just like always. That tiny voice inside her was saying, ‘yes this is it, it’s ok, She’s got you. It’s all good’. Slowly her body began to relax.
Sensing the shift in muscles across her lap Kate smiled. Yes, it’s working.
“I’ve missed you too my brat, never doubt that. Remember I am always here for you.”
With that she sped up a little increasing the strength, bringing her hand down hard and sharp. The swats rang out in the room making lasting impressions on the upturned cheeks
Sarah’s bottom was on fire! There was no doubt about that. Strangely enough that very fire and pain pushed through the last of her confusion. Yes she had missed her Top but here was the reinforcement she sought. Laying over her Top’s lap, feeling these strong thighs against her, having that arm holding her close and that hand so effortlessly lighting her backside up. Damn, that hand hurt! But this time Sarah welcomed the burning sting. Each one seeming to push her inner balance back into place. As the spanks increased Sarah crossed over the line and went with the moment. This was what she needed. Her body melted over her Top’s lap. She waited for each stinging spank as it landed and embraced the feeling. Already her world was righting itself! She moved a hand down to her Top’s side and held on to her jumper. The contact was there. She was totally in the hands of her Top!
Kate spotted it immediately. She felt the change in Sarah’s posture, knowing Sarah had reached inside herself and was where she wanted to be.
The Top maintained the hard swats for a couple of minutes longer then switched back down to slower, softer strokes. Having got Sarah to that place it was important to bring her back down carefully. It was not a question of simply stopping. Kate paused from time to time, rubbing Sarah’s back telling her everything was ok and she was doing great.
Finally Kate stopped and rested her hand on Sarah’s bottom. Continuing the gentle back rub she spoke softly.
“Sarah, my love you are amazing. We are finished here but we aren’t moving until you want to. Take your time, there’s no rush.”
Sarah was almost in a dream-like state. To say she felt different was an understatement. That heavy pressure was gone. Inside she felt right, absolutely right! It was an incredible feeling. She didn’t want to move right now. So she stayed where she was… and that was ok!
Eventually even contented brats get stiff so Sarah had to move. Not sure how it happened she found herself tucked into Kate’s arms sitting on her lap. She didn’t complain.
“How are you doing now my love?” The concerned face of her beautiful wife came into view.
“ I feel..oh wow….I just feel perfect. I’m whole again! “ a smile lit up her face causing Kate to hug her close whispering soft words of love and tenderness to the love of her life!
This time it was the Top who went with the moment. To say she was pleased her brat was able to ask for this of her, was a huge understatement. To think her brat trusted her enough to do this was awesome, truly awesome.
Taking time to check Sarah was indeed feeling good, she held her wife in her arms maintaining that important body contact. She listened as Sarah tried to describe how she had felt throughout the spanking, noting that it had progressed pretty much as she had thought. Every so often positive comments were given supporting Sarah’s thoughts.
At last Sarah climbed off her wife’s lap, leaned over placing a soft kiss on her lips.
“Thank you honey, thank you for being you and thank you for being my Top. You are always there when I need you. “
The rest of that day was spent with the two women taking time out being with each other. Reigniting every aspect of their relationship. They talked, laughed, relaxed , dreamed and strengthened their love even more!
As she lay in Kate’s arms in bed that night Kate spoke quietly.
“Sarah don’t forget you can always talk with me, I will listen my love.”
“Yes, now I know I can. “
Kate’s smile lit up the room!
This was so beautifully written, and struck so many deep chords.
Totally gorgeous writing.
My apologies for the late reply Woodsy but thank you so much for your beautiful comment. Happy New Year to you!
You caught so much of my heart in this. Truly.
Thank you again Woodsy. I’m so pleased it had this effect on you.
Hi Patti, good to hear from you. Again my apologies for my late response but thank you so much for your kind words. Happy New Year to you!
Happy New Year Wookie
First, as an inveterate reader and lover of bookshops, I just want to say that I totally understand Sarah’s compulsion to check out the store, Wookie! 😆 But I was really touched at Sarah’s struggle to share her desires, which can happen even in a long-term and fulfilling relationship like Kate and Sarah have. It’s a testament to Kate’s love and skill as a top that she was able to reassure her partner so well, and deliver exactly what she needed. Thanks for sharing that lovely story, Wookie. It was really heartwarming. 🥰
Alyx like you, I cannot ignore a bookshop! I appreciate its not a Christmas story this time. In all honesty I would struggle to write one. However, that aside, thank you so much for your thoughts on this one. I was hoping it came across as it was intended.
As I said above, my apologies for my late response and may I wish you and Mil a very Happy New Year!
Such a beautiful relationship! Well told story. Thank you for sharing. Happy New Year!
Thank you so much for your lovely comments. Happy New Year to you too!