This is a memory of mine that I thought I should share. Being the one of the youngest in a family has its perks. Like getting lots of gifts from older siblings and having lots of time on your hand for mischief. This happened when I was around 7 or so and my little sister and I were told that we won’t get any presents if we were not good, well they must have either forgotten or they must have been high cause I know they weren’t talking to the Queen of Wicked and the Lord of all Brattyness……..ME. I devised a plan to not only trap old Saint Nick, but also steal all the gifts from his sack.
Now, I live in the Bahamas and as you know: 1) It doesn’t snow down here, and 2) We don’t have chimneys. I told my little sister who reminded me (the kill joy) of those things we lacked and I told her that he has a magic key and can get into any homes with or without a chimney. Thinking back now, man I was such an idiot, because I forgot the most important flaw in my plan………..MY MOTHER! (Until she died, I could’ve sworn she was an immortal.) I figured since she’s old (look I’m 7 so what else I would think) she couldn’t possibly spoil my plan that I know was fool proof.
It took me about three days to set my plan in motion, first I went to my Dad’s tool shed and got some supplies. Second, I made sure I was super good (which was a stretch right there) one of my older sisters complimented me on my good behavior and said that I’ll get everything I wanted if I continued to be angelic.
Now what I’m about to tell you guys is so crazy, if I didn’t know I did it, I would swear it was a lie. After everyone had gone to bed and the cookies and milk were set next to the tree, I struck around 3 in the morning. I had set down some rope and tacks by the back door of our house (I still tryna figure out why even now), man look here, ya girl was hype up and ready.
My little sister alerted me to the sound coming from outside when I made the decision to get my brother’s baseball bat just in case he made it past our defenses. I should’ve known we were going to die that night because after I heard the cry of someone stepping on the tacks and tripping over the rope and that voice was not one but several, we shoulda just abort the mission and saved our butts, but not me I wanted and needed all those things so I made the decision to charge with the bat!
Now, like I stated early on I have older siblings and when the screams started everyone ran out to see what was happening. When the lights turned on, there were my older sisters and their husbands trying to get up off the kitchen floor and the presents were scattered all over the place. Well wait, my mother took one look at me and my little sister and we took off, but we were not moving (our feet were but we weren’t). My mother said that she knew me being good for the last 2 weeks was too good to be true. She tanned my sister’s and my backside really good and we didn’t get our gifts until the New Year. Looking back now, I still can’t believe the things I did when I was a kid and really can’t believe that I am a mother of two. 😉
So that’s just one of the many times I made my mother’s life exciting and my little sister’s butt HOT.