A Christmas I Will Never Forget

by Bahamagirl

This is a memory of mine that I thought I should share. Being the one of the youngest in a family has its perks. Like getting lots of gifts from older siblings and having lots of time on your hand for mischief. This happened when I was around 7 or so and my little sister and I were told that we won’t get any presents if we were not good, well they must have either forgotten or they must have been high cause I know they weren’t talking to the Queen of Wicked and the Lord of all Brattyness……..ME.  I devised a plan to not only trap old Saint Nick, but also steal all the gifts from his sack.

Now, I live in the Bahamas and as you know: 1) It doesn’t snow down here, and 2) We don’t have  chimneys. I told my little sister who reminded me (the kill joy) of those things we lacked and I told her that he has a magic key and can get into any homes with or without a chimney. Thinking back now, man I was such an idiot, because I forgot the most important flaw in my plan………..MY MOTHER! (Until she died, I could’ve sworn she was an immortal.) I figured since she’s old (look I’m 7 so what else I would think) she couldn’t  possibly spoil my plan that I know was fool proof.

It took me about three days to set my plan in motion, first I went to my Dad’s tool shed and got some supplies. Second, I made sure I was super good (which was a stretch right there) one of my older sisters complimented me on my good behavior and said that I’ll get everything I wanted if I continued to be angelic.

Now what I’m about to tell you guys is so crazy, if I didn’t know I did it, I would swear it was a lie. After everyone had gone to bed and the cookies and milk were set next to the tree, I struck around 3 in the morning. I had set down some rope and tacks by the back door of our house (I still tryna figure out why even now), man look here, ya girl was hype up and ready.

My little sister alerted me to the sound coming from outside when I made the decision to get my brother’s baseball bat just in case he made it past our defenses. I should’ve known we were going to die that night because after I heard the cry of someone stepping on the tacks and tripping over the rope and that voice was not one but several, we shoulda just abort the mission and saved our butts, but not me I wanted and needed all those things so I made the decision to charge with the bat!

Now, like I stated early on I have older siblings and when the screams started everyone ran out to see what was happening. When the lights turned on, there were my older sisters and their husbands trying to get up off the kitchen floor and the presents were scattered all over the place. Well wait, my mother took one look at me and my little sister and we took off, but we were not moving (our feet were but we weren’t). My mother said that she knew me being good for the last 2 weeks was too good to be true. She tanned my sister’s and my backside really good and we didn’t get our gifts until the New Year.  :(   Looking back now, I still can’t believe the things I did when I was a kid and really can’t believe that I am a mother of two.  😉

So that’s just one of the many times I made my mother’s life exciting and my little sister’s butt HOT.

santa_dog_bite

22 Responses to A Christmas I Will Never Forget

  1. Micah says:

    I don’t know who to feel worse for….your poor mama or your little sister. Thank you for the story Bahama girl. It was funny and made even more so since it actually happened. Good job!

  2. Fizzy says:

    ROTFL thank you bahamagirl! I bow to your boundless ambition at such a young age: not just to trap Santa but to steal ALL THE PRESENTS! heehee 😆

    • bahamagirl1996 says:

      Thanks grrl! If you only know what I did after our tannin and grounding was up. I told my little sister that since we got caught ( of course I told her she cause it) when we grow-up we are gonna put our mother in a home and not visit her! ( how was i suppose ta know she was listenin by window ) I could still feel that slipper to this day.Ouch!

  3. tigger0011 says:

    Oh my goodness! It never even occurred to me to try to trap Santa! My older siblings, sure, but Santa? Never!
    You’re a genius!

    • bahamagirl1996 says:

      It’s still time to come up with a plan to trap some of Santa’s helper’s 🙂 Lemme know if you game. Don’t let Micah know naw

  4. bystander says:

    Bahamagirl you had me laughing so much with this one. Your poor mum and sister. Not to mention your older siblings and spouses. Genius ideas 🙂

    • bahamagirl1996 says:

      Yea it was a good plan boy. Having siblings old enough to be your parents sometimes is a real plus, but having them tanning your hide to is not

  5. Mil says:

    Lol! BG that’s a brilliant Xmas story. I wish I was a fly on the wall at your childhood place. How much entertainment :). Thanks for sharing, mate.

    • bahamagirl1996 says:

      Dude, if you were there when I did all those wondrous things, you mighta been dead ya sef. Cause my mother comes from the era that says,* if you are rude and disobedient when you’re over, they will tan your butt right good and when you get home, you’ll get another from your parents * Well, all I could say is, a day didn’t go by for me my brother, I still can’t see how I still livin!

  6. JB says:

    eheheheh good funny one! WTG bahamagirl! Thanks for sharing. 🙂

  7. Peach says:

    OMG BG! I’m tryin to imagine a 7 yr old taking a baseball bat to our beloved Santa!! This was too funny (and priceless). lol You go girl!

  8. Ash says:

    Great story, BG! Mon, you wicked! Beatin up Santa? Personally I never believed in Santa… well except when I was like two and he made me cry. Not that I remember this myself, though my family just loves to tell embarrassing stories. *pout*

  9. Alyx says:

    BG, only you would think of such a terrible plot! I’m assuming you all go barefoot in the house like we do, and I’m wincing at those tacks! You really crack me up, especially when you talk about your poor sister. I’ll bet your family loves you dearly, but boy do they have their hands full! Thanks for sharing this wonderful memory….it’s definitely a Xmas brightener. 🙂

    • bahamagirl1996 says:

      Yes my friend we do go barefoot indoors . Thank you again for allowing me to share a memory of my wonderful childhood .
      Merry Christmas to you my Island sister 🙂
      I love you Alyx !

      BG

      • Alyx says:

        Love you too, BG. *cuddle* Mele Kalikimaka! 🙂

        • bahamagirl1996 says:

          Be safe my friend. Oh, and tell the bosslady Merry Christmas for me please 🙂
          I just got back with my two best friends Grey Goose and Belevdere, they said to tell you Merry Christmas and they will help keep me warm thru the night 😉

          • Alyx says:

            Bosslady said to wish you a Merry Xmas as well (as you saw from the other post). I hope you will stay safe and watch out for New Year’s Eve…..if your alcoholic “friends” celebrate with you again, better not be driving yourself home, young lady! *stern look* *cuddle*

  10. Roger says:

    Cute story I think your old sister should of got you

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