Who Knew?

First of all, let me put a disclaimer out there: I come from a generation that looked at Shane from the “L Word”:Shane, The L Word

…and would think, “She’s an attractive woman…if only she would fix her hair!” ๐Ÿ˜€

Okay, maybe it’s not a generational thing. Because I’m sure there are women my age who are more stylish and trendy, and who think that look is hot. So it’s more of a “conservative me” thing. Now I’m the most progressive and liberal person politically. But when it comes to “fashion” I’m definitely behind the times. And to be honest it hasn’t bothered me for years. I’m just me, and I’m fine with that.

But now I’m with a woman who’s much younger than I am, and though she accepts me fully the way I am, she has been trying recently to “update” my look, especially when it comes to my hair. It’s been quite a revelation.

When I was a kid, I couldn’t leave the house unless my part was perfectly straight. One hair out of place and it would bug me no end. As I grew older I loosened up about that a tiny bit, but I still would never leave the house with my hair messy. In fact, I thought everyone was like that. If I saw someone with their hair out of place, I would think it was because they didn’t realize it. I felt sorry for them that no one had pointed it out before they left the house, like I would do for my lover.

Now I’m dating an artist, and she wears her hair like Shane. And I’ve come to realize (through several conversations) that this look is not only not a mistake, but that it takes some effort to achieve. Mil has assured me that people spend a lot of time and money to attain the look of not caring at all what their hair looks like. (And bless her, she does find the irony of it quite funny too.)

So I let her mess with my own hair, and I mean that quite literally. I let her put “product” in it (BTW, the wordsmith in me cringes at using the noun this way, and it’s disconcerting to find these products have names with “clay” and “wax” in them), and achieve the look which she assures me is much nicer than my own carefully blow-dried effect, which she calls “80s lesbian hair.”

Her (scrunching and tossing my locks around): There! That looks great!
Me (incredulous): Really?? It’s SUPPOSED to look like I just got out of bed and didn’t fix my hair?!
Her: It doesn’t look like that. But at least it doesn’t look like your grandmother used her curling iron on it.
Me: Whaat?! Are you serious??
Her (chuckling): Sorry, not really. Maybe I’ve been watching too much “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.” That’s like something they would say.

And I would go out into the world, and would feel the urge to fix my hair every time I caught sight of myself in the mirror, but eventually I got kind of used to it. And I liked it. But I didn’t really like the perfumey smell of the product she used.

Her: Oh, I should let you use my salt spray, that doesn’t smell as strong.
Me (again incredulous): You mean there’s a product that creates the same effect as when you go swimming and don’t rinse off well enough?! *shudder* I HATE that feeling!
Her: *laughing*

Another time, seeing my hair after I woke up:

Her: You brushed it, didn’t you?
Me: Of course I brushed it! Having that product in it made it stick up all over the place!
Her: Come here, let me fix it. *proceeds to add more product and create as many clumps as possible* There, that’s better. Eventually you won’t have to add any more product…it’ll just do it on its own.
Me (horrified): Well, I should think so! If you add enough cement dust to anything you can build a wall.

Okay, I didn’t say that last bit. But I THOUGHT it. As I said, it’s been quite a revelation, but I am enjoying it. It’s funny how much my early training is being stood on its head (so to speak) and it feels good to loosen things up. I told Mil I was going to make a blog post about the experience, but was worried it wasn’t really “on topic.”

Her recommendation? “Maybe you should write, ‘Your hair should always look like you just got spanked.’ ”

I couldn’t have said it any better. ๐Ÿ˜€

This entry was posted in I Am a Cultural Luddite, Laughing WITH You Not AT You, Philosophical Stuff. Bookmark the permalink.

29 Responses to Who Knew?

  1. Mil says:

    LOL!! Fizzy and I plan to slowly but surely bring you into the 21st Century. Baby steps is the key ๐Ÿ˜€

    Honey, you are gorgeous to me regardless, but you sure do rock a messy short cut… especially when you’re wearing that black leather jacket *moan*. I’m totally chuffed that the look is “growing” on you, and I look forward to styling your hair everyday…. but of course, you don’t necessarily need product to look like you’ve just been spanked ๐Ÿ˜‰

    • Alyx says:

      Yeah, it’s true — between you and Fizzy I’m being dragged into the 21st century for sure. ๐Ÿ˜€ I’m sure my dumb phone will be under attack next! *LOL*

      And I know your hair is not quite as messy as Shane’s….it’s just as cute and sexy, though. *kiss* As for that “just-been-spanked” look, I will make sure to keep YOUR hair (and bottom) properly taken care of! ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. I wouldn’t say it’s a generational thing. I think I would probably cry if I looked in the mirror and my hair resembled Shane’s. Well, not literally but I would be thoroughly displeased.

    • Alyx says:

      That’s really good to know, Jazz. I don’t feel quite so out of touch. ๐Ÿ˜€ But I think you (like Ash) have a more “traditionally feminine” look? Fortunately that never seems to go out of style. ๐Ÿ™‚

  3. Mimi says:

    Delightful read ๐Ÿ˜Š
    So, I guess you can be your original ‘orderly’ self while playing the top – not a hair out of place! I believe you are that most of the times ๐Ÿ˜›
    But when it’s time to switch… Why – nothing looks as endearing as a dishevelled countenance, that too carefully styled! ๐Ÿ˜Š

    • Alyx says:

      You know, I actually hadn’t thought about that before, Mimi! That completely-in-control look does work for my top side, while the other side can probably let loose a little. ๐Ÿ˜€ Good job of tying it into TTWD. *LOL*

  4. Ash says:

    Well… I donโ€™t have Shane hair. But then I have long, wavy hair… like โ€œtraditionalโ€ feminine hair. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I am terrified of cutting my hair short, so that wouldnโ€™t work.
    I only wash my air and let it air dry (unless I need it to dry faster).
    I find it strange that people put so much product in their hair, not that it doesnโ€™t look good (it does!), but after rush hour there are always round wax marks on all the windows on the bus after people (mostly men) have been sleeping against them.

    • Alyx says:

      Ash, fortunately long “traditionally feminine” hair never seems to go out of style, so you never have to worry! Plus just wash and dry is sooo much easier to deal with. And I definitely wouldn’t wear too much product — leaving circles of wax on windows is way too much…eww! :p

      • Ash says:

        When I was in the 4th or 5th grade suddenly all the boys started saving their bangs and then combing it up with hair gel so that it was all stiff. They looked like idiots, but I suppose it was the fashion at the time.
        I guess itโ€™s like when you look at photos from the 70โ€™s and 80โ€™s and you think… โ€œDang! What were those people thinking?!โ€

  5. shaesfiction says:

    Lol. As a neat freak, hair products freak me lit! I also hate โ€œproductโ€ being used as a noun that way. But hey, change can sometimes be fun!

    • Alyx says:

      I agree, change can definitely be fun, Shae. But now that you mention it, I’m sort of a neat freak about my appearance and hygiene, but rather messy about my surroundings sometimes. Like, horizontal surfaces get cluttered around me. I wonder if that has any bearing about willingness to use hair products? *LOL* ๐Ÿ˜€

  6. Ellie says:

    Congrats on your courage! I bet you look GREAT! Weโ€™d love to see you, though Iโ€™ll trust Milโ€™s word and give room to my imagination! (whatโ€™s the next step Mil? What about dying her hair blue or green or lilac?)

    • Alyx says:

      For your information, Ellie, I’ve already dyed my hair once. It was back in the day when kids had “tails,” and I dyed mine purple. ๐Ÿ˜€ Though I have to admit the dyes back then weren’t as glaring as the bright colors they use these days. So I doubt that will happen! *LOL* ๐Ÿ™‚

      • Ellie says:

        That makes you definitely braver and less traditional than me ๐Ÿ˜ Iโ€™ve always wanted to try but I hate my hair (they look bad no matter what) and the most Iโ€™ve done was some red reflexes! See? Youโ€™re actually good at updating to the 21st century!

  7. Carrie says:

    My hair is long and thick, meaning it takes a long time to manage so now my styling routine of a morning is shampoo, conditioner, wacking it in a towl to lossely dry and then leaving it for the day to take and style as I go about in a mad rush! ๐Ÿ˜ I rarely brush or put hair products on it!

    I think it’s good you’re trying to switch it up a bit, stylishly messy is a good route to take!! (I live that out in my hair and enviroment) ๐Ÿ˜‚I’m sure it looks great on you! ๐Ÿ˜Š

    • Alyx says:

      Long and thick hair is enviable, Carrie. And your styling routine sounds refreshingly un-fussy…..you’re lucky you can get away with it. ๐Ÿ˜€

  8. Wookie says:

    Alyx I admire your courage trying different hair styles. You never know how you will feel until you try. I’ve gone for both the messy look , which I really like but I also like the short, styled every hair in place look. So I guess I have the best of both worlds. Kudos to Mil and you though for going for it.

    • Alyx says:

      Thanks, Wookie, and you’re right — it’s good to try new things. You do sound like you have the best of both worlds. I wonder if that’s a switch thing? ;D

  9. Emma says:

    I’m here to put in that I’m a younger generation (in my 20s), and wear my hair brushed straight/neatly, centre parting, and in a low ponytail. It’s naturally straight, and shoulder length, and I rarely do much with it except occasionally a plait instead of a ponytail and I never use ‘product’. I also never wear it down/loose except at home, and I cut it myself twice a year in the bathroom mirror… However, I guess I do have a slightly ‘old fashioned’ style when it comes to my physical appearance. I also buy pretty much all my clothes from charity shops, which probably doesn’t help.

    That said, I do actually like the look of shorter hair, including the ‘messy’ look, I just don’t think it’d work on me personally. And it’s great that you’re trying different styles. I think it can feel quite ‘freeing’ to try out new looks, outfits or styles etc. occasionally.

    “Now Iโ€™m the most progressive and liberal person politically. But when it comes to โ€œfashionโ€ Iโ€™m definitely behind the times.”

    Oh dear.. despite my age, I think that’s me too…

    • Alyx says:

      That is excellent, Emma! I’m really glad to hear that. I feel less old, somehow. ๐Ÿ˜€ (Btw, Mil cuts her own hair too. Which makes it a bit galling that she teases me for going to SuperCuts [cheap chain]. Fizzy teases me too, but at least she actually spends big bucks on her own hair. *LOL*)

  10. Fizzy says:

    HA all this drama over that tiny bit of product! It looked fantastic and you have no right to whine about your now 30-second morning beauty routine. ๐Ÿ˜€ You’re lucky Mil’s looking out for your style.

    Also, I thought that dumbphone finally broke. It’s old enough to vote

    • Alyx says:

      Well, Mil put the product in my hair, but I’m pretty sure I must’ve been “softened up” by your diplomatic suggestions of where I could get my hair cut next, what style you saw that was really cute, etc.! ๐Ÿ˜€

      As for my phone, it got left in LA, but rescued and is being mailed back to me. ๐Ÿ™‚ And if it’s old enough to vote, it’s old enough to give you a hiding, so watch it! *SWAT!* ๐Ÿ˜‰

  11. laineytales says:

    Hey Alyx, your words and the all replies made me giggle. Afraid Iโ€™m a person who has to have the right look and if that means โ€˜productsโ€™ then yes I use them. Not quite sure what the right look is though, hence I am constantly changing my style and colour.

    Anyway good luck with your adventure into the 21st century ๐Ÿ™ƒ

    • Alyx says:

      Hi Lainey! Glad my riffing on a silly topic made you giggle. ๐Ÿ˜€ I think it’s great you’re not afraid to use products to achieve whatever look you want. I especially admire the fact that you’re brave enough to constantly change your look! I wish I was that courageous. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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