Fizzy recently used a phrase in one of her forum posts — she referred to “the Tao of Tops” — and it made me wonder if there was such a thing. According to Wikipedia, “Tao or dao is a Chinese word meaning ‘way,’ ‘path,’ ‘route,’ or sometimes more loosely, ‘doctrine’ or ‘principle.'” Obviously each top is different, and I’m not going to pretend to speak for all of them, but I think maybe there is something to that. Wikipedia says that Tao is “the underlying natural order of the universe,” and I think a lot of tops feel their views should be described in exactly this way. 😀
Furthermore, the site goes on to say, Tao can “be known or experienced, and its principles (which can be discerned by observing Nature) can be followed or practiced. Much of East Asian philosophical writing focuses on the value of adhering to the principles of Tao and the various consequences of failing to do so. In Confucianism and religious forms of Daoism these are often explicitly moral/ethical arguments about proper behavior.”
Well, there you go! Tops’ guidance can surely be experienced, their instructions should definitely be followed, and the consequences for failing to do so are well known, aren’t they? And “proper behavior” is frequently a top’s main focus as well. So if there does exist the Way of a Top, what would that be? Again, just basing it on my own tendencies, I have jotted down a few principles:
- Do as I say, not as I do. I’ve joked about this one before, but let’s be honest: Yes, brats, we expect you to realize we have your best interests at heart. Emphasis on YOUR. That is, the focus is on your behavior, not ours. If we wanted it to be on ours, we wouldn’t be the top.
- Sometimes we do stuff which makes us very glad we’re the top, and not the brat/bottom. This is sort of a corollary of #1. I’m not saying we’re PROUD of it. In fact most of the time we’re ethical and responsible enough to feel very guilty over any hint of a double standard. But all the same…it’s a good thing you can’t see us.
- We get off on spanking. Okay, there…I said it. I’m not saying we enjoy punishing you. (Sure, some of us do, but then some of you enjoy being punished, so I figure that balances itself out.) What I’m saying is (as if it was any big surprise) that spanking can be just as enjoyable from the top half of the equation. Especially if you wriggle and yelp for us. That’s fun. *vbg*
- We don’t always want to be in charge. Most of the time we do, but not always. Sometimes, we’re tired. Sometimes, we’ve had a lousy day. Sometimes, we just need a break. And at those times, you being a well-behaved brat…or just a friend…is the most welcome thing in the world.
- Sometimes we get a kick out of your naughtiness. I’m not talking about extreme behavior, or tiresome antics to get attention. But a cheeky quip, a harmless prank — yes, it can make us laugh. But not enough, contrary to rumor, to weaken our spanking arms!
- We do like it when you’re good. Don’t worry, it’s not boring at all. (Okay, maybe it would be if you were good 100% the time. But trust me, that’s not something you’ll ever be in danger of achieving.)
- We get a lot out of the relationship too. I think brats sometimes wonder about what tops get out of it. I know I wondered about it when I was in a more submissive position. (Not a brat, mind you! But my “sometimes top” is definitely a Top.*) The fact is, it’s wonderfully gratifying to be able to make a difference in someone’s life. It’s not just the affection we have for our brats, it’s that their welfare is important to us. We share in their triumphs, we feel their pain. (Especially if we use our bare hands instead of implements. *eg*)
Seriously, though, being a top is like the Peace Corps: It’s the toughest job you’ll ever love. The Tao of a Top is not exactly like a religion. But if you want to worship us, that’s okay too. 😉
It’s Love Our Lurkers Day, and so I want to mention how much I love all my readers, and how grateful I am for all the feedback. And if some of you have been visiting and have never left a trace before, please feel free to do so! But either way, thank you to all of you for stopping by. You are the wind beneath my….er…computer chair. 😀
*Thank you, Aer, for showing me the other things a top can be: Caring, demonstrative, honorable, full of integrity, courageous, inventive and sexy. Your tao is definitely one to follow! 🙂